i do not know what is happening to my eyes.
but i dont think theyre meant to be like this.
i did get contacts though
and it is totally weird being able to see things clearly without glasses.
IT IS.
but i like it.
i cant wear them for too long though cos it makes the part underneath my iris
hurt like HELL.
so that's when i gotta take em off or douse my eye with refresh.
oh and they are a bitch to put it.
bitch.
besides that uni starts really soon and looking back on the holidays
i really dont know what i have done for the past two months
not a lot i'd say.
oh wait make that three months.
hmm
there is one thing i need to go though.
get a hair cut.
AHH its like gone disaster on me for the past month.
it just doesnt sit properly!!!=(
and i dont wanna go the hair dressers for them to chop it all off
cos that is what they'll do
they'll chop it all off
even when i tell them not to
they do
ARGH
i loathe hairdressers and their desire to snip off wanted hair
CURSE yousss
i need to find a good hairdresser
if i can do that this year it'll be GREAT.
oh yeah everyone like EVERYONE has to watch skins.
in fact. i'm going to waste the rest of my downloading on skins.
note to self: download season one of skins
i'm glad teevee is back on
but why do they always put it all on one night so you cant watch it when you want to
its not like your IQ or teeboo can record like 3 shows at once
WHY
well after my last post
i dont know if i feel any better than i do now
i think
i've gone numb again to all the crying and depressionness
its just kinda worn me thin
it makes me wonder if its what i'm really feeling
or just the result of too much pondering over the situation
i dont think i'll never know because in all the midst of it
it just feels like overwhelming pain and disgust just sets in at myself because its being so ostentatious and i hate people like that.
it really does feel like when you want to talk to someone
but then again you dont know whether you really do
like how the words are on the tip of your tongue
but they wont come out
or you dont know whether its because you dont want them do
cos if you do of course you cant take it back
the damage it done
but you feel like youre going crazy either way
and telling them wont make a difference
but theyre right next to you
but you feel so far away
like telling people youre fine
but really youre not
and you dont know whether you should tell them or not
because its just a hopeless situation that is just...yeah.
if you ask me why i'm mad at you
why i'm mad
at you
i could go on
for a very long time
a veryy. long. time.
about all the times
that have contributed to this madness
and i wonder if i'd remember tham all
whether i'd go crazy from everything
and i'm sure we'd think after
what the hell are we even trying to make this work
and will it ever work
all the times where i shouldve gotten mad
i realise now
why do i put up with it...
i think i'm just expecting you to...
am i putting myself through too much
am i putting you through too much
are we too much
it just feels empty
that phrase
when you say those words
it doesnt hold any weight
in fact it feels meaningless
because i dont think that you do.
i dont need to hear it.
its not a failsafe at all.
'seen better days...'
