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Friday, February 08, 2008
hit me harder.
11:30 pm

i dont know if i want to say this to you but.
i had to let it out somewhere.
i doubt you'll read this though...
or even realise this is about you.
at this point in time.
i cant talk to you.
or i dont know if its i dont want to talk to you.
there is also fear that if i do.
i'll just end up feeling angry like i have for the past two weeks.
i didnt realise it myself but it has been building up since the start of this year.
besides feeling angry it just reminds me of all the times i've felt the same.
and it just makes me cry.
and swear.
and tired.
and just wonder what on earth i'm doing.

i know youre busy.
youre always somewhere.
always with someone.
doing something.
youre a busy person.
but i feel like i'm.. not there. the distance is killing me. there's no communication. no replies. emails. messages. no phone calls. or what constitutes proper phone calls with no consideration.no listening to what i say. not realising i dont live the hours that you do. so what is there.

this is hurting me more than i thought it would.

i dont think i'm expecting much.
maybe i am. maybe i'm that type of person.
i dont think you'd ever tell me.
youre a busy person.
but at the moment i cant... i am not right.
maybe it'll go away. maybe not. its been about two weeks.
today it felt like it was fading. but i'm not sure when it'll go for good.
you dont have to do anything.
i just think sometimes you say things and do things differently. and dont realise there's always collateral.everyone does it i guess.
this is probably unfair. you probably think somewhat in a similar context to me.
but we havent always been peachy keen.
so i think more effort is required.
i dont know if its worth it.

maybe i have too much time to think about all this crap.

dont worry.
youre too busy at the moment.
just...later okay.
sometime later.
when youve settled yourself.
and when i've...yeah.
when i can read this and not cry.
later.


wasting your time at 11:30 pm

change of pace .

about me .

Name: exodus.state

Birthday: 30th.Nov.1988

Currently:HATE UNI

i'm liking ...

music!!
the net
shopping
getting money
CNY
hotties
gorgeous friends
food
sleeping
ANIME
manga
tv
that 70s show and scrubs
my new phone
my BED
passing uni
my dvds
the BEACH.

loathing ...

BEING SICK
uni
bugs
smokers XD
evil bitch people
having no income
people that wake me up
stupid bogan girls that ask for money when they should stop having sex and start doing normal teenage things
guys that have nothing else better to do then make people miserable just because they will amount to NOTHING.
evil people on the roads who drive dangerous. and who DRINK DRIVE
FLIES
prissy girls
petrol prices
junk food accessibility
halitosis
getting the bottom of my jeans wet on a rainy day
how it can be so freaking cold sometimes

post its .